What is Meditation?

Meditation is the practice of focusing attention in order to achieve a state of increased tranquility, awareness, and intention. When we allow ourselves to quietly observe the feelings in our body and the mental chatter occupying our minds, we lessen the hold of our thoughts and calm our nervous systems. With practice, this can have a profound effect on our overall sense of wellbeing, gratitude, and relationships with others. The practice stretches back to ancient Eastern cultures, many of which embraced meditation as an important aspect of their spiritual traditions, though the art of sitting still with calm awareness has been a practice celebrated by wise people around the world. Modern neuroscience and psychology have pointed to the potential benefits of meditation in recent years, and researchers are finding that it can be a powerful tool for encouraging neuroplasticity—the ability for the brain to form new synaptic connections, breaking down old patterns of thought that hold us back and forming new pathways in the functioning brain. This can lead to improved calm, productivity, and sense of being grounded. And it can become the basis for your own spiritual practice, whatever that looks like for you.

Types of Meditation

Since meditation is an ancient practice interwoven with many different cultures and traditions, it can take many different forms. For example, some approaches suggest staring at a candle flame for an extended period of time, attempting to think of nothing else but the experience of watching the flickering fire. Other schools focus on the breath, asking practitioners to pay attention to the movement of air in and out of the body. And other approaches ask people to choose a phrase, or mantra, which they silently repeat to themselves at length as a way to focus attention. These approaches are all valid, and it can be fun to experiment with trying them out. Despite the range of specific techniques, you’ll notice that these different approaches all share a common focus on encouraging the mind to focus on a specific experience or phenomenon.

OK, But How Do I Get Started?

Good question. It is really easy to get started with meditation. All you need is a relatively quiet space and a few minutes of time. To get a feel for the practice, you can even start with something as simple as sitting at your desk, lighting a candle, and focusing on starting into its flame for three minutes. Afterward, note how you feel and what the experience was like in your mind. Did your thinking change at all from the beginning to the end of the candle gazing? Maybe not—and that’s OK! Often, when we first start meditating, the first stage is simply about realizing just how much thinking really does go on in our brains. The point is not to control it or stop it. You can try the candle technique several times and continue to ask these questions after each practice.

The candle method is a great way to dip your toe in the meditative pool, but to dive in completely, you’ll want to start using a meditation cushion or support. When I started meditating, I put this off for a long time, thinking I would look silly or pretentious sitting like a guru on a circular pillow. But using a meditation cushion isn’t just about looking legit; it’s for aligning the spine, hips, and brainstem and achieving a comfortable, supported position to allow for optimal mental awareness. And besides, if you’re self-conscious about sitting on a cushion, remember that you can meditate right at home, so no one will have to see you. When I started using a meditation cushion, it was a complete game changer, and I noticed that my sessions were getting more immersive, more comfortable, and producing more lasting effects almost immediately. To see a list of my favorite meditation cushions, click here.

Your First Sit on the Meditation Cushion

Once you have a meditation cushion, place it on the floor in a quiet, comfortable room. I like to place mine on top of a yoga mat or rug, but anywhere on the ground is fine. Now, sit on the front half of the cushion, allowing your legs to extend in front of you. Or, if it’s more comfortable, you can gently cross the legs on the floor in front of the cushion. The key is to sit on the front half of the cushion, because if you sit too far back, you can can restrict circulation in your legs, which is not a big deal, but can be uncomfortable. After you sit down, you may want to shake gently from side-to-side to “settle in” to the cushion a bit and feel more grounded.

Now, close your eyes and take several deep breaths. When starting out, I like to take long, even breaths, with exhalations about the same length as inhalations. Just do this for a few minutes and continue to settle into the experience. As you continue, try to pay careful attention to your breath. What does it feel like in your lungs? In your throat? When the breath is entering or exiting your mouth or nostrils? What does your breath sound like? Thinking back to the candle exercise, your breath is now taking the place of the flickering flame. Can you devote your whole mind to its refreshing, sinuous movements through your torso?

When you are starting out, it is common to have trouble keeping the mind focused your breath alone. For example, you might notice that your thoughts interrupt this concentration, spiriting away your attention. Sometimes, your thoughts can be so overpowering that you might carry on for a minute or longer, totally having forgotten about the breath, swept up in your endlessly unfolding ruminations. Don’t fret: this is supposed to happen and noticing these things is why we meditate. Instead, simply retune your awareness to your breath whenever you notice you’ve been swept away by thought. A lot of people get frustrated, because a bad teacher told them that the purpose of meditation is to stop thinking, or to develop instant control over the awareness. This is silly. The purpose of meditation is to give yourself space to experience these thoughts in a different context, and to develop skill noticing when they take over your concentration. In other words, the point of meditation isn’t to suppress thought, or to totally escape its pull. The purpose of meditation is to notice, with more and more ease, when the mind gets distracted. By developing this awareness, you gradually train your attention to be more steadfast. But it isn’t an overnight process. Rather than criticizing yourself when you notice that your attention has strayed from your breath, congratulate yourself for noticing it in the first place. If you’re noticing that your mind has strayed, you’re already on the right track!

How Long Should I Meditate?

It is popular these days to prescribe a certain number of minutes as a magic formula for achieving meditation success. This is foolish. Everyone’s mind is different, and the mental experience is so individuated that what works for one person may not work for another. This is why I suggest meditating without the use of a timer or alarm. Instead, you might note down the time when you first sit down, and look at the time again when you get up. But don’t let achieving a certain number of minutes be your driver. Instead, focus on the experience itself, and let it guide you. Meditation is a chance to open a release valve on all the pent up thoughts that circulate through our minds. This metaphor implies that each session should provide some level of relief, so I like to use my own state of being as a guide for when to get up from the cushion. I like to stay on the cushion for as long as it takes for my attention to grow more steady and until I notice a reduction in the mental pressure of my thoughts. Some days, this might be five minutes, and other days, it might be thirty. Ditch the timer, and let the experience guide you.

Meditation as Time-Out for Adults

In a way, meditation is like time-out for adults. When I was a child, I hated getting time-outs, but I now realize that my parents were onto something. Being forced to sit with our thoughts, while sometimes uncomfortable, is a way of working through them, of weakening their hold on us and diffusing tension. This is why so many parents use time-out as a response to toddler meltdowns and temper tantrums. The removal to a quiet space reframes the inner turmoil of agitation and forms a safe space to let out the negative energy.

It’s an irony of life that time-out, one of my least favorite parts of childhood, is now one of the best parts of adulthood, at least when I reframe it as meditation. As an adult, I love to give myself time-out, and you can too.

Granted, you might find it unusual or challenging to meditate the first few times. But even this can be reframed, for how difficult is it to sit and do nothing? That’s all we’re really doing: sitting down.

How Frequently Should I Meditate?

You should meditate as often as is helpful to you, but to get the most of the experience, I suggest trying to meditate at least once a day, for any amount of time. The more frequently you meditate, the more you will come to enjoy it and the more its benefits will accrue and compound. Many people tell me that, once they’ve been meditating for a few weeks, they actually come to miss it when they stop the practice. Similarly to a massage, a run, or a cup of coffee, meditation becomes a regular part of our resistance to stress, something we turn to for serenity.

What Next?

Once you have a cushion and have established a regular practice with it, your goal is to maintain the meditation and make it part of your regular routine. I found that sticking with a focus on the breath was the most effective and accessible method for the first year of my practice, and I recommend you stick with this approach too. See how far it takes you, and you can always reevaluate as you go, adding mantra meditation or another technique later. As the effects of meditation come into your life, see how your attention and attitude change throughout the day when you’re not meditating. With practice, the improved focus and tranquility you experience on the cushion will begin to permeate the rest of your life, too. These are powerful steps toward transformation!

-Bryan

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